Stand Up. Seriously. Don't Be So Lazy.

Imagine that we're on an airplane. I have the aisle seat, preferably on the left side of the plane so I can extend my right leg into the aisle. I'm weird like that.

You have either the middle or the window, it doesn't matter because you need to pee. So, you tap me on the shoulder and ask to get out. Obviously, I get up and let you out, right? Right? RIGHT?!?

Apparently not always. Last time I was on a plane, flying to O'Haire, I had the middle and I needed to pee. I asked the Chinese lady next to me, and she just turned to her side and kicked her knees up to her chest. That's it. I had to stick my ass in her face to get to the aisle. What the hell? Is it so much harder just to get up?

In fact, I saw this routinely during the two weeks I was in India last year. I saw this happen three different times on the T this week, including not fifteen minutes ago. God, I hate people, I really do.

SCOTUS and Obamacare

If you live in Massachusetts and think your taxes went up as a result of today's ruling, you're an idiot. Likewise, if you get health insurance through your job and think your taxes went up, you're an idiot.

And of course, moving to Canada will not solve your problems either.

Girl Scout Cookies

There was an article published in the New York Times about two girls in Hazelwood, MO, who sold Girl Scout Cookies from their driveway until the city shut them down due to zoning laws.

Normally, this kind of article barely registers with me. I read it, say "that sucks," then move on. But this one bothered me. There's something deeper going on here.

For those too busy, too lazy, or already read too many NYT articles this month to click over, let me summarize. The girls sold cookies from their driveway, instead of door-to-door or in front of a grocery store like they were supposed to. Understandably, this lead to undesirable traffic in the residential neighborhood, somebody complained, and the city was forced to step in.

What bothered me about this story is that it feels like city government is being blamed here. As their mother says, "As long as the girls aren't harming anyone, why don’t they leave it alone?" After all, as daughter Caitlin thought when this situation first arose, "This is crazy. It’s not like we’re selling drugs on the street." Big, bad government trying to bully the small, defenseless citizen. What's wrong with some kids selling cookies from the driveway? Why can't some boys set up a lemonade stand on a residential street corner? That's classic Americana, right?

Fuck you.

If you think this is government intrusion, I don't want you voting in the next set of elections. Of course, if you want to sell Tupperware, Amway, and/or kitchen knives from the privacy of your own home, go right ahead. It's your home. But as soon as your "business" becomes a disruption in my home, the public street, or to any of my neighbors, you have to stop. Your freedoms only extend as far as your property line.

And the government is doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing: mitigating disputes between citizens. And the law is functioning exactly as its supposed to: creating rules to protect citizens from each other.

Plus the other issue with blaming the government or the law is that it looks sight of the real villain here: the neighbor that complained in the first place. Seriously? You can't deal with a little extra traffic for three weeks so some preteens can sell delicious, delicious cookies? Who shoved that stick up your ass? Go away, mind your own business, and stop being such a nosy busybody.

The Proper Way of Looking at Things

When arguing about sports, there's no better comeback than the scoreboard. Red Sox fans think the Pirates suck and the sexual preferences of Andrew McCutchen (he's on my fantasy team)? Well, look at the scoreboard, buddy. Pirates almost swept the Sox this past weekend. Scoreboard.

Mother-effing scoreboard.

But really? I mean, sure the Pirates won, but they're not really better than the Sox, right? I mean, the Sox are 13 games above .500 and are a lock to make the playoffs. The Pirates are one game over .500 and have just a good a chance of making the playoffs as the Mets (don't laugh, my Mets are 39-39, 4.5 games back of the NL wild card).

Obviously, the answer is sample size. Here is the argument presented for the recently completed NHL playoffs. Was Boston really the best team in the NHL for the 2010-2011 season. Probably not, as JLikens of Objective NHL reasons out in the linked post.

In fact, through the beauty of statistic simulations, he shows that the best team wins the championship only 22% of the time. Now, keep in mind, this isn't the NFL where it's a series of one-game, do-or-die games. This is the NHL, where they play 82 regular season games, then four seven-game series to overcome the variability inherent in a probabilistic endeavors.

I'm guessing the numbers for Major League Baseball and the National Basketball Association will be similar. I'm guessing the numbers for the National Football League, the World Cup, and other sports are worse.

Ultimately, that's the beauty of sports. The best team doesn't always win. In fact, the best team doesn't even usually win. And that's what keeps Mets fans coming back for more.

In any case, the article is a fantastic read. I wholeheartedly recommend it.

Mission Kill

So, I live in an area of Boston called "Mission Hill", about a twenty to thirty minute walk from Northeastern's campus. It's a nice little neighborhood from what I can tell. There are a couple nice bars (The Mission, the Squealing Pig) and couple decent places to eat (Brigham Circle Diner, Penguin Pizza) and a J.P. Lick's, Dunkin Donuts and a Starbucks nearby. Nice.

Then, there's this.

To quote from the article if you're too lazy to click: "A cardboard box containing two possibly human skulls was found at 760 Huntington Ave. Wednesday afternoon in Mission Hill, Boston Police Department (BPD) officials said. Construction workers found the box in the basement of the building and put it outside on the curb, where Alden Ladd, a junior biochemistry major at Northeastern, said he saw the skulls."

By the way, I live next door. 758 Huntington. Also, the place where the found the skulls is the planter in between my building and 760. Third, the construction workers are working on building a pizza place that I have to walk past to throw my trash out.

Yeah. I wanna move.

Can anybody find me a cheap apartment in Boston? Preferably on the Green-E line? or within walking distance to Northeastern?

Sigh. Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot.

She thinks we should "support our North Korean allies."

Fuck you.

Okay, let's be fair. It's mostly just a slip of the tongue, but I'm sorry. I don't want anybody who would confuse North and South Korea as my president. That's not negotiable for me.

And a few words on World War 3, which should be coming in the next few days or so...

Here's the story from CNN.com for the uninitiated.

I know we (in this context I use "we" as a citizen of the United States) need to be careful. We can't piss off South Korea, we can't piss off Japan, we can't piss off Russia, and we especially mother fucking cannot piss off China. They own half our debt after all.

But seriously. Fuck those guys. They killed two soldiers and two civilians for no reason. Fuck those guys. I'm not sure I care if it starts World War 3.

Last.fm is Tracking My Life

I really like last.fm, probably the best place to go if you're looking to discover new music. It's not very useful at first, but as the system tracks more and more of the songs that you listen to, it eventually becomes very, very powerful

[Sidebar: if you'd like to friend me there, I'm at last.fm/henrque. You probably don't want to friend me, there or anywhere else.]

However, there are times where I question the last.fm algorithm:


Katy Perry, I kind of get since I do listen to an inordinate amount of little girl pop for a 29 year-old single male, and Scientific American makes perfect sense. But Jessica Simpson? Really? She hasn't been relevant in years. Plus her music is awful. And she's an awful human being.