Girl Scout Cookies

There was an article published in the New York Times about two girls in Hazelwood, MO, who sold Girl Scout Cookies from their driveway until the city shut them down due to zoning laws.

Normally, this kind of article barely registers with me. I read it, say "that sucks," then move on. But this one bothered me. There's something deeper going on here.

For those too busy, too lazy, or already read too many NYT articles this month to click over, let me summarize. The girls sold cookies from their driveway, instead of door-to-door or in front of a grocery store like they were supposed to. Understandably, this lead to undesirable traffic in the residential neighborhood, somebody complained, and the city was forced to step in.

What bothered me about this story is that it feels like city government is being blamed here. As their mother says, "As long as the girls aren't harming anyone, why don’t they leave it alone?" After all, as daughter Caitlin thought when this situation first arose, "This is crazy. It’s not like we’re selling drugs on the street." Big, bad government trying to bully the small, defenseless citizen. What's wrong with some kids selling cookies from the driveway? Why can't some boys set up a lemonade stand on a residential street corner? That's classic Americana, right?

Fuck you.

If you think this is government intrusion, I don't want you voting in the next set of elections. Of course, if you want to sell Tupperware, Amway, and/or kitchen knives from the privacy of your own home, go right ahead. It's your home. But as soon as your "business" becomes a disruption in my home, the public street, or to any of my neighbors, you have to stop. Your freedoms only extend as far as your property line.

And the government is doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing: mitigating disputes between citizens. And the law is functioning exactly as its supposed to: creating rules to protect citizens from each other.

Plus the other issue with blaming the government or the law is that it looks sight of the real villain here: the neighbor that complained in the first place. Seriously? You can't deal with a little extra traffic for three weeks so some preteens can sell delicious, delicious cookies? Who shoved that stick up your ass? Go away, mind your own business, and stop being such a nosy busybody.